Party at my place, Saturday afternoon, May 3rd.

Standard fun applies. There will be interesting people, games, food, music, and I'm hoping some fire and dancing (bring your poi!).

Theme: spring! fire! rebirth! warmth! Hopefully the weather will cooperate, and we'll have some actual spring weather, instead of this Fall/Winter stuff we've been getting recently...

Please feel free to bring one or two interesting people you would feel comfortable leaving unattended in your own home, even if (especially if!) I don't know them. We have lots of space, and we like meeting new people.

Who	You! ...and your guests :-)
What	Food, conversation, music, and games
When	Sat, 03 May 2008 16:00:00 -0800
Where	The Bit-Slingin' Saloon 3848 NE 87th St Seattle, WA 98115 206-909-0262 (cell)

See you there!

I'm throwing a party at my place this Sunday, starting at 4pm and ending when people leave (although I'm kicking you all out if we get to Tuesday).

Why? Because the weather has been fabulous. Because my friends just had a child. Because it's leap day weekend. Because I like large crowds of interesting people. Because a good friend of mine is visiting from out of town. Most of all, because I feel like it, damnit.

So! There will be Rock Band, there will be food graciously provided anna_mcann (whose cooking is worth coming for, all by itself), shooting pool, games, and fascinating conversation. There will be fully stocked bar -- but alcohol isn't the main event, as it were. Weather permitting, I'll break out the BBQ and grill up some grillables. If we're *really* lucky, some piano players will come, and can tickle the ivories of the (baby) grand piano in my living room.

Please feel free to bring one or two interesting people you would feel comfortable leaving unattended in your own home, even if (especially if!) I don't know them. We have lots of space, and we like meeting new people.

Summary:

Who	You! ...and your guests :-)
What	Food, conversation, music, and games
When	Sun, 02 Mar 2008 16:00:00 -0800
Where	The Bit-Slingin' Saloon 3848 NE 87th St Seattle, WA 98115 206-909-0262 (cell)

See you there!

It's been about a year since I've posted how my life was going. I figure I can do it again without boring people too much.

I still work at the same place I did a year ago, although it was a new job then. I'm rakeofdoom's boss. The company went through a really harsh time over the holidays, shrank from about 110 people worldwide to around 60 -- lots of people left, lots didn't get their contracts renewed, and ten or so got laid off -- and got sold. My job is still secure, I think, although out of the five IT people we had, only rakeofdoom and I are still there, still with me in charge of things. It's been stressful. Very. Stressful. Especially this past week, for some reason.

Hmm. Relationships. ariata and I broke up in August, by mutual decision, on very good terms. We're still great friends. I think it was the most mutual parting of ways I've ever experienced, or even heard of. I dated anna_mcann for a month and a half in there (monogamously, for a change), I think September-October, but it went pretty badly. I've been single since then. It took me a while to get used to it, after dating ariata for three years, but I kinda like it now. I have a theory that I learn the most about myself and relationships in the periods between them, and this is no exception. I still can't put things into words, exactly, but I know I think differently about relationships now than I did when ariata and I started dating back in 2004.

I'm actually in that masters program I decided to apply for, the night/weekend M.S. in Information Management at the UW, otherwise known as the Exec MSIM program. I'm in the middle of my second quarter. It's been...boring. Initially, I figured I'd have to wade through a bunch of "intro" classes the first year, and get to the interesting stuff the year after, but it's actually been so slow that I've considered dropping out. Lucky for me, I randomly ran into a second-year student at a cafe I frequent, who suggested I talk with the assistant dean about it. The assistant dean happens to be the professor of one of my classes, so I did, and now it looks like I'll be able to skip the classes I already know cold (like the databases intro class...) and replace them with more interesting electives. I think that's awesome, and will really help me enjoy school. The details of this are still up in the air, though.

For a while, I became something of an outgoing introvert. I guess that's a contradiction of terms, but I mean that I didn't go out often, but when I went out I was really outgoing and met lots of people. I just didn't follow up with any of them. Between work and school, I've been really busy, and just hanging out with a few close friends whenever I've had spare time. I still go out dancing every weekend, and I've started to just "hang out" with people again, which is nice. Not having as much schoolwork this quarter helps, I think.

I've lost another 25 pounds, bringing me down to 240. I plan to lose another 20, and then stop at 220. I seem to drop ten pounds, then stay there for a couple months, then drop ten more. I've been fluctuating from 238-242 for about 4 months or so, now, although it just started to drop again. Still have no special diet to speak of; I just eat what I'm hungry for, and stop eating when I'm no longer hungry (as opposed to sated). I've noticed that I tend to eat more when I'm really stressed, which has been problematic recently.

Actually, stress has been a really big deal lately. Both ariata and anna_mcann, the two people I've frequently slept next to recently, have told me that I occasionally stop breathing in the middle of the night, then start again. I've heard of sleep apnea, but as I felt like I got enough sleep, I didn't think much of it. Now, I'm waking up 3-5 times in a night, and gasp in a breath as a realize I hadn't been breathing. Luckily, suffocating wakes me up. Unluckily, there's something wrong with my breathing hardware. That's kinda scary. It's much, much worse when there's something stressful at school, at work, or socially. It doesn't seem to matter how tired I am. Stress management or no, I think this requires a doctor.

I recently started studying chess again. I do that every couple years -- just start playing a lot, looking up theories, memorizing openings that suit my fancy. I've never been a tournament player, though I apparently play well enough to be one. One of these days I'm gonna play enough to get rated, but I haven't bothered yet. I just sit at Trabant with the chess board in front of me, doing work or homework or just dallying around, and play whoever wants a game. I might even find a tutor again. In six months or so, I'll probably stop playing again. It's what usually happens. I kind of do these things in waves. Next, it will probably be learning haskell (specifically, to wrap my head around monads), which has been on my "to learn before I die" list for a while. I just really like learning; if I'm not learning something, I feel like I'm slowly dying. Although, if I'm bored for long enough (this takes about three days), it actually gets kind of nice. Those three days are torture, though.

That's about the state of my world.

helios292 has just moved in, and it's been a while since we threw a party. Clearly, this means it's time to throw one! So, barbeque goodness is gonna go down, this upcoming Sunday. You all are invited.

Location: The Bit Slingin' Saloon, aka My House. If you don't know where that is ... well, I'm sure you have the means to find out. :-)

Date/Time: Sunday, September 23rd, 4:00pm until people leave.

Description: In the immortal words of the new housemate, "meat+fire=win".

Food. Music. People. Conversation. Pool table. Games. Alcohol. Fire. What more do you need?

Commenting is an excellent way to RSVP. ;-)

* Vegetarians and little ones welcome. Even vegetarian little ones.

I want new clothes, so I can feel pretty. Handsome. Whatever. Here's the deal: I have money. You have good taste in men's clothing. Together, we are unstoppable. Who wants to go shopping with me?

Hey all. I'm traveling up north this weekend with the lovely ariata. We're planning on going to the aquaraium, to see the whales. (Whales! In an aquarium! Yeowza) Does anyone know any other fun and interesting things to do in the area?

Took the GRE today. I think it actually broke me out of my writers block funk I was in. The writing portion of the test was actually quite fun -- one section asked me to write about how studying something changed your view on the world (which I have no trouble writing for hours about) and the other asked me to rip apart a fallacious argument (which I also rabidly enjoy doing). I expect high writing scores. Math score was fine. Verbal score was enh. Good enough to get into the department I want, in any case.

patterson_ar drove my car into a wall. Slid it, really. Everyone is fine, the damage to the car is fixed, but it's never a good thing to wake up to your roommate crying on the phone because he crashed your car. Conversation:

phone: *RING*
me: "Nyurgh."
him: (obviously very agitated) "Did I wake you up?"
me: "yeah."
him: (more agitated still) "Does that mean you'll be more grumpy than usual?"
me: "Did you crash my car?"
him: "yeah ..."
me: "Where are you?"
him: *explanations of whereabouts and iciness*
me: "Okay, I'll be right there."
phone: *click*
me: (thining to self) "oh shit, I forgot to ask if everyone was okay."
phone: *RING*
him: "hello?"
me: "Is everyone okay?"
him: "yeah"
me: "okay, I'm gonna take a shower first. I'll call you when I'm on my way."

Turns out he just didn't know how to handle a car on ice. Note to Seattleites: TURN INTO THE SKID. But, the collision was at about 3mph, and it just scraped and bent a few things. Broke the mirror. Small stuff. While it was in the shop, I took the opportunity to get a couple other things fixed, so now it has headlights the point in the correct direction (mountings have been broken since I got it, years ago). Yay for visibility. Now to buy some nice, bright lights for it.

I've decided to get a Masters degree. I've found a Masters of Science in Information Management, night and weekend courses only, that fits with my schedule. Two year program. At the UW. That I can afford. So I'm doing it. Now that the GRE is out of the way, I just need to actually write up the application essay and find one more person to write me a recommendation letter. I have one professor and one previous manager; the third will probably be a current coworker.

Work has been ... lots. Lots of work. I really like my new job. I'm just at the point where I can't quite keep everything floating in my head, and have to start actually making policy decisions. Rock the boat! As an IT guy, dealing with developers is simultaneously the best and the worst of it. On one hand, the devs are usually computer savvy enough that we don't have to do much desktop support. On the other hand, they know just enough to shoot themselves in the foot, time and time again, and *still* think they should have root on the production servers. It's a constant struggle to delineate where dev privileges end and IT privileges begin.

Wow. ariata just got a 29 point hand in bridge. Most people won't know what that means, but it pretty much means she wins, even without help from her partner, because she has nearly *all* the high cards.

I've been losing weight. I'm going to get down to 220lbs. That was a good weight for me, I think. I started trying to lose weight in the beginning of November, which wasn't very easy, what with Thanksgiving and all. I was 280lbs when I started, and I was at 265 when I weighed myself a couple days ago. It's gone up and down (up near the end of November, what a surprise), but the overall trend seems to be down about ten pounds a month. I'm happy with that. I'm not really changing anything except when and how much I eat: Instead of eating until I'm full, I eat until I'm no longer hungry (which I've found is literally about half as much food), and I'm eating breakfast and no longer eating in the three hours before I go to bed. I still eat whatever I feel like. Seems to be working.

That's about the state of my world.

Funny how people think I'm hitting on them when I insult them out of sincere dislike. Ah well. Probably better that way.

Not much going on in my life. I got a new job as Manager of Network Services for UIEvolution, a research and development subsidiary of Square Enix Inc. (i.e. SquareSoft). I used the signing bonus to pay off the last of my consumer debt, which feels immeasurably good. I've decided to use the increase in income to pay for grad school, to get an MS in Information Management, which is essentially a Business IT degree. I hosted Thanksgiving for the first time, which turned out really well.

I still have no idea what my holiday plans are. I'll be spending someof the time in Vancouver with my parents, I'm sure. I have half an inkling to host a holiday party at Trabant (yes, I've spoken with the owners about this -- their idea, actually), but I think I'd rather do that in January as a birthday party thing instead.

I really like my new job. The hardware setups are really quite impressive and organized. I've never seen a patch panel so organized. Whoever designed the system beyond that, however, should be dragged into the street and shot. My predecessor, essentially. I hope people don't feel that way about me after I leave a place. I don't think they do. I typically leave things better than I found them.

Problem is, when I'm bored, only thing I can think of that I'd like to do is go to work. I keep telling myself, "Wait until Monday, Wait until Monday." I envy Trisha's ability to entertain herself with new and exciting things on a daily basis.

Beware of the Craigslist Crazies. No, I don't mean the personal ads. But them too.

Been watching Gilmore Girls. It's really good.

Off to make a wishlist for people.

... so I'll just feel what I feel, I guess. My first response to most stressful things is an enforced apathy, so I'll have to wait until that goes away before I can get a read on how I actually feel about this. It's weird that I can't even figure out what I'm feeling, but there you have it. Forest through the trees, and all that. All I know is that my reaction is a strong one.

My dad just called me and told me he and my mother were having problems, and he's talking about leaving her.

My youngest brother is 16 now. I know for a long time my dad was sticking it out largely for the sake of us kids. I mean, there were other reasons, too, not just that. But, now that the kids are no longer very dependent on them, maybe those other reasons weren't quite enough to offset all the shit that is their relationship.

One of the reasons I'm so against high-maintenance relationships is because my parents' relationship took so much maintenance. Daily talks on the topic of "us" for weeks at a time, in and out of counseling since I was very little, and lots of literal, written contracts regarding behavior. I'm talking about mowing the front lawn before the back lawn, here, not about anything kinky. (Who knows? Maybe they have contracts about that, too.) Taking immense time off work to come take care of things in the family, rules about leaving work exactly at 5pm every single day no matter what.

I look at things like that, and the amount of time poured into simply maintaining the relationship -- not making it better, just preventing it from getting much worse -- and I really, really don't like it. I hear people talking about committing yourself completely to one person ... that's what my parents did. It sucks. My mother has no friends, and my father can't keep a job -- who wants to keep an employee who takes so much time off "for the family" that he's undependable? (Edit: After looking at some numbers from my Dad, I realized that this isn't actually true. He's had 9 employers in the last 28 years, with 5 months of being unemployed. This gives him a 98.5% employment record for those 28 years, with an average of 3.1 years per employer.)

Give me, instead, a relationship where we can just be happy with what we've got, little to no maintenance required. I'm happy? You're happy? Yay. When we have some spare moments, let's make the relationship even better -- but not in a way that requires maintenance. Lots of little things that require a little maintenance add up to LOTS of maintenance in the long run. Want a deeper relationship? Let's take a few hours and spend some time talking about what we want in our lives, or talk about how emotional things affect us. Let's share ourselves with each other, a one-time act that deepens our understanding of one another, and hence our emotional intimacy. Let's not make an agreement to have sex at least twice a week, or to see a movie once a week, or to give gifts once a month, or -- and this one is the worst -- never desire anyone else again. Let's let those things happen as we want them to happen, at the time. Strangely, when there's an actual dearth of something, the desire crops up anyway.

Now, when I promise to give you flowers every week, that's really sweet, isn't it? When I actually give you those flowers every week, is that really sweet? Maybe, especially at first, but after a while it's just the status quo. Let's say I don't promise, and I give you flowers somewhat sporadically, maybe averaging once every couple months, that's really sweet, isn't it? Even years down the line? When I've promised and don't bring the flowers, that's pretty low of me, isn't it? When I do something sweet that then takes lots of effort to maintain -- and that effort doesn't further help anything -- that's creating maintenance. That's stupid. It also makes it so the best I can achieve is status quo, and failing that is bad. Without the maintenance, giving flowers is a positive thing, and not giving flowers is the status quo. It's a difference between being able to make someone happy and being able to avoid making them sad. Stupid. Especially when you make lots of such promises.

That's about it. I'm happy? You're happy? Yay. No need to ask for more.

Actually, a lot of my philosophy stems from this concept. I don't look for problems to fix (badness to turn into neutral), I look for things to improve (neutrality to turn into good).I don't look back for mistakes I've made, I look back for things I could do better. I don't look for flaws in a design, I look for improvements that can be made. Personally, I think it makes it a lot easier to overall improve a situation, because instead of looking only at the flaws, you're picking the best way to improve the situation. Sometimes that improvement is made through removing a flaw. Sometimes that improvement is made by adding something new. In any case, things are how they are, and all you can do is go from there, so you may as well take right now as neutral and go for making it better.